Living Victoriously After Divorce

The first year or so following a divorce can be tough. Whether the break-up of the marriage was driven by a major heartbreak,

or the split was mutual and amicable, you might feel like you’re strapped into an emotional roller coaster for a long, bumpy ride.

If you never expected you would be single again, at first it may feel impossible to define yourself outside of the context of your marriage. Being a husband or a wife became an important part of your identity. Finding a new self-conception as a single person can take considerable time and require significant intention.

When your divorce is fresh, you need to learn how to separate yourself emotionally from your married life. The end of your marriage requires you to see yourself in a radically different way. You don’t simply step away from the identity that formed while you were married. Removing that identity can mean working through a gauntlet of difficult emotions. This stage may be the most challenging. But there is good news, especially if you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. The good news is you don't have to do it alone!

If legal or parenting logistics are keeping you from fully removing yourself from your previous relationship, I recommend setting yourself up with a Christian support group. Growing your faith during this time will totally transform your identity. This will also provide you a safe place to share details of your divorce that will lead to your breakthrough.

How you know you’ve made it through: Your mental health is solid, you’re not triggered by divorce topics as often, and you’re beginning to feel like you’re capable of moving forward.